The Magic of 1, 2, 3...

Once my daughter discovered that she had a choice, our day to day routine came to a screeching halt. I could no longer get her to finish her dinner or stop crying or put her toys away by simply asking. It seemed as if over night she began to ignore me. No matter how many times I asked, or pleaded with her, she acted as if she didn’t hear me. I resorted to increasing my volume gradually until I reached the screeching crescendo that could shatter glass, and still, she heard nothing. Eventually I got sick of screaming and consulted my ever faithful mother’s group. One mom suggested a book titled “The Magic of 1, 2, 3.” It seemed a bit far fetched, but the idea is that you explain to your child that you are no longer going to make requests repeatedly, that from now on, you will make the request and if the child does not respond, then you will begin counting, one, two, three and if you get to the number three, then there will be no screaming, no hysterics, but a consequence will follow, such as a time out, no television, or no sweets.

So I gave it a whirl. I asked my little girl to put her toys away because it was time for bed. She continued playing with her toys without the slightest indication that she heard me. So I said “S, I’m going to count to three, and if you haven’t picked up your toys by the time I get to three, I’m going to take your toys away from you. One (she hasn’t moved)…Two (still no acknowledgement)…three. “ She continued playing, so I took her toys away from her and tucked them away in a closet, as she erupted in ear shattering screams.

The next time that I asked her to do something and she didn’t listen to me, I only got to two before she stopped what she was doing and responded to my request. To be honest, I was actually nervous as I began to count because I knew that she held all of the power. I was afraid that she would just continue ignoring me and I’d get to three and then I’d have to give her a time out and that would become our new routine and I didn’t want to govern by time outs. There she sat in the middle of the living room, surrounded by all of her stuffy friends, enjoying her far away adventure and I stared at her wondering how this would go down. I took a deep breath, and then chased all fear from my face and with a thoughtful, but stern voice said “S luv, it’s time to put your friends away and get ready for bed.” She continued on playing, lost in her never, never land. “S, Mommy is going to count to three and if you haven’t started picking up your toys by the time I get to three, Mommy is going to take away your toys for a day. One…(holding breath, please don’t put us both through this)…two…(oh no, here we go…but WAIT! there it is, she’s swiftly moving!!) It worked! I don’t believe it! It worked! As I watched my baby girl picking up her toys and silently putting them away, I said a brief prayer of thanks to Thomas Phelan, author of “The Magic of 1, 2, 3”.

And so it continued…Mommy giving the warning, counting to one…then two…and poof! just like that! Magic happened. I never got to three again. I’m sure there are skeptics out there, believe me, it took sheer desperation for me to try out something that seemed too easy to work, but it truly works! But readers, please take note, I’m no child psychiatrist, so if one, two three doesn’t work for you child, don’t sue me. I have no idea what the over/under is on one, two, three, I just know that it worked wonders for us and you should try it if you haven’t already.

In fact, it worked so well for us that one night as I was getting my little girl ready for bed she said “Mommy, I would really like a piece of chocolate cake.” I said that she can’t have cake right before bedtime. She replied “Mommy, I want some chocolate cake now.” I said, a bit more sternly, “No S, you can not have cake right before bedtime.” She said “Mommy…one…two…three!”